i want to achieve “she’s adorable and i will protect her at all costs but also i am slightly frightened by her power”
Al-Fudayl bin Iyaad said:
لا يبلغ العبد حقيقة الإيمان حتى يعد البلاء نعمة والرخاء مصيبة وحتى لا يحب أن يحمد على عبادة الله
A servant does not reach (taste, acquire) the reality of eemaan until he considers tribulation (calamity) to be a blessing and comfort (opulence) to be a calamity, and until he loves not that he should be praised for worship of Allaah.
Al-Siyar of al-Dhahabi (8/434).